…one is silver and the other gold.” I remember singing that verse in Brownies (you are a Brownie before you are a Girl Scout. Unfortunately, I did not have the “sharing” spirit, so I never made it to Girl Scouts 🙂 )wondering what in the world it meant. Unfortunately, it has taken my 23 years to figure it out.
Now that I am an adult, I have found it hard to make and maintain friendships. Kids are a whole lot more accepting than adults are. I have always wondered why it was so hard for me? Do people not like me? Do I smell funny? Do I make dumb jokes? Am I boring to talk to? These questions have plagued me for years. Badly enough, it is due to something I have recently figured out.
“Make new friends, but keep the old.” This is good advice! I guess through the eyes of a naive teenager, I always thought my friends would be around and that nothing would change if I ever left. Boy, was I wrong! When I went to college out of state, I did not keep in touch with my friends at home. When I graduated from college, I returned home to find my friends had established separate lives for themselves and moved on. Since I did not remain in touch with them throughout my college years, I found myself irreversibly ousted from their daily lives and thoughts. Basically, I had not been a good friend. Looking back, it was quite egotistical (or naive) of me to think that everyone puts their lives on hold waiting for the day I return and pick up our friendship where we left it off. I found out that it just doesn’t work that way.
I made quite a few friends in college and I thought these friendships would last a lifetime as well. These were my silver friends. When I started college and became immersed in the educational daily grind, I traded my antiquated gold friends for my “new” silver friends. But, it wasn’t long after I arrived home from college and started a career that my new silver friends also returned to their respective homes, found a job, and continued on with their lives as well…trading me in for their familiar gold friends back home. They were wiser than I.
So, now I find myself without my silver or gold friends. What went wrong here? Recently, I found myself hit with a huge wave of nostalgia, pining for my old friends, my home where I grew up, and anything old and familiar. Why does life have to be so complicated? Don’t get me wrong, anyone from Alexandria who is reading this blog, I do like living here and I love my church. I just miss the good ole days of having those heart to heart conversations with your best friend. Being able to walk over to your friend’s house, at any given time, and spill your guts on what happened that day. I miss my friends. I guess I do have a few friends here. They are more or less the conversational kind. Most of the people here have their “gold” friends established already. They all grew up together and don’t have much more room for “silver” friends.
The good thing, though, is that these wonderful things called MySpace, Facebook, Twitter and blogging were invented and after creating accounts, I have reconnected with quite a few of my “gold” friends. Now that I am a little older and wiser, I am hoping to be a better friend. To all of my new silver friends, I hope you will stick around long enough to where one day we can say our friendship is “gold”. I always have enough room for more friends. To all of my old “gold” friends, even though this apology is over ten years past due, I am sorry. I love you all lots! I miss the good ole days and hope to reconnect with you all and most importantly, I promise not to do it again! Cross my heart!